the commonsense stick collection
by emletish
Summary: This is just a random collection of drabbles that will fit in with my stalking universe. In no apparent order. updated only when the mood to drabble strikes me.
1. the circus

0o0o0o0o0

the circus

0o0o0o0o0

The only letters Zuko ever got during time on the ship come from a girl called Ty Lee. Iroh has a vague recollection of a flurry of pink and a chiming laugh. She writes to him every year on his birthday, or at least this is what Iroh assumes. The letters always start with happy birthday, though mail is irregular at sea and often Zuko doesn't get them until months later.

The letters are written on pink paper and are covered in doodles of butterflies and flowers and are always badly spelled, but they make Zuko smile for the tiniest fraction of a second when he sees them. He will be in what passes for a good mood (for Zuko) for hours after reading one.

Today Zuko got his third ridiculously cheerful pink letter, but he doesn't seem any happier. In fact, he seems even more melancholy than usual. Iroh doesn't understand, though he tries. Zuko says _she's joining the circus_, as though that explained everything. Iroh presses for further explanation and eventually he gets it. It was apparently a joke they had between them when they were children.

If ever life got too miserable and cheerless and Azula too unceasingly terrible, one could always run away and join the circus.


	2. the ice in her gaze

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

The ice in her gaze.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Official Executions are irregular in the firenation. Unofficial executions, however, are a different matter entirely. Official executions require a lot of paper work and effort, and every execution has to be signed off publically by the firelord, after the accused has had a chance to plead their case. Father normally assigns someone to _deal with it_ (deal with it being his favourite euphemism for all manner of sins).

This woman is different. The entire court has been enthralled and appalled by the rumour that she can bend blood, control someone from the inside. Father had to do something publically to make a show of strength, especially in the aftermath of the eclipse.

They walk the woman in and she is not what Azula expected. She is not a fierce warrior, but an old hobbled woman. She could have been handsome once, but now her face is just a ruin. She still has blazing blue eyes. They burn with what is either genius or madness. Azula cannot stop staring at this haggard wreck. She is horrifying and she is fascinating. She does not plead for her life, instead she curses them all at the top of her lungs.

Azula gets up to leave, because the woman unnerves her (though Azula will never admit this in a million years). The terrible eyes follow Azula. She can almost feel the piercing gaze on the back of her neck. Those eyes are accusing, as if what has happened to her is somehow Azula's fault , when the woman is a criminal for goodness sake.

Out in the gardens, Azula still feels that icy gaze. The feeling of unease the woman inspires in her remains.

It's like Azula will never be able to shake her off.


	3. waiting

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Waiting

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

The pain is like nothing Zuko has ever felt before. His vision blurs. He can hear Katara. She's so close, but she's so far away. She's scolding him and saying that she will be _so mad_ at him if he dies on her. He tries to concentrate on her, on her voice. She's asking him to stay with her and he wants to. He wants to stay with her more than anything, but he can feel the world slipping away.

He hears another voice, both closer and more distant that Katara's. He is sure that he must really be dying, because the voice he hears belongs to someone long since dead. It is Lu Ten's voice. He still recognises it after all these years.

Lu Ten urges to Zuko to live. It's not his time yet. Zuko is a fighter to the end and he feels the familiar stubbornness rise within him. He refuses to go out like this. Lu Ten tries to help. He explains about the real power of the comet, in deep and soothing tones.

For a moment Zuko's determination wavers. He's missed Lu Ten so much. Perhaps he could stay here with the voice. He could go back to a time when things were simpler and nothing hurt. But Lu Ten says no. They will see each other again, but not for a long time to come.

But it's okay.

Lu Ten doesn't mind waiting.


	4. the first cut

Breaking up with Lee wasn't like breaking up with any other boy. Well to be fair, dating Lee wasn't like dating any other boy. His Uncle's teas had caught the eye and the tastebuds of some government big-wig. He had offered them the chance of a lifetime – shop in the upper ring. complete creative control. The big wig had even sorted out their papers for them. Lee was leaving.

Lee was saying that even though he would be in the upper ring and she was staying here...they could still keep on seeing each other. She knew he was a good climber. He could scale the walls and come down and visit her.

He meant it too – Jin could tell.

He wasn't the sort of boy who would offer something like that and not mean it. But the Dai Li were everywhere now. Their oppressive presence had spread through the city like the fog in wintertime. She didn't want Lee taking those sort of risks for her.

Jin told him, as gently and kindly as she could, that as soon as he moved to the upper ring they would have to stop seeing each other. It hurt her to say it, but she knew she was doing the right thing.

It was such a shame though.

Jin had really liked this one.


	5. the constant companion

Iroh had been steadily sinking into a pit of despair, ever since he got home. Sometimes he wondered why he even came home. Without Lu Ten here - there was nothing left to love. Instead there was fighting. There was always fighting in the firenation and Iroh was thoroughly sick of it.

People wanted and expected him to stand up and take a stand and do something about his brother. But Iroh was too tired and too sad and too exhausted by life. He cloaked himself with his grief. It protected him from the intrusions, expectations and demands of the outside world.

Iroh and his grief became constant comapions and after a while, everyone seemed content to leave them alone together. People respected the grief and gave it privacy.

All except Azula.

Azula had no respect for anything. Certainly not for grief. She had no time for sentiment or for sentimental old men who gave in to despair, especially when the despair was all of their own making. In their last argument, which was fierce and vicious and full of mutual resentment, Azula had shouted at him that he didn't get to_ just give up and wallow_ – not when Lut Ten's death was **all his fault. **

Zuko taken Azula outside and chastised her for being unkind, but Iroh doubted that her brother's disapproval would mean much to the girl – she had never been overly bothered with being kind anyway.

Zuko came back, a minute, an hour, perhaps a day later, with jasmine tea and plate of sweet zingers – Iroh had heartily enjoyed both once. Zuko said he was sorry, as he laid them in front of Iroh. He said that Azula was wrong and she hadn't meant those things that she said.

She wasn't wrong.

Ba Sing Se had been Iroh's idea. If not for Iroh - his dreams of glory and his faith in the promises of the spirits – Lu Ten would be alive.

Iroh found that he could never quite bring himself to forgive Azula for being right about this.


	6. sexy

Contrary to their expectations, the Dai Lee hadn't killed Jet and Smellerbee and Longshot. The three of them had been determined to go down fighting – but the Dai Li seemed to think that they could be of 'use' again, at a later time. They were associates of the Avatar and that fact alone kept them alive.

They had been taken to the secret Dai Li infirmary. Smellerbee and Longshot were in the normal wards – as they had been injured in the fighting. Jet had been taken to intensive care. He missed Smellerbee and Longshot. He couldn't visit them. He felt like he was going crazy on his own...well crazier on his own. Jet would admit, that upon reflection, he had been perhaps behaving a little erratically before.

-o-

He was unsure how much time had passed. Enough time for it to stop hurting when he breathed in, but not enough for the Doc to give him the okay. Though, to be fair, Jet was exaggerating how terribly he felt now because he was sure that when the Doc gave the okay – the Dai Li would move them to one of their prisons. Jet was trying to avoid that. He asked after Smellerbee and Longshot all the time – but didn't receive any straight answers.

-o-

Jet's deliverance from solitude and worry came in the form of a girl who **really looked like Lee.** She was fierce like Lee. She had the same proud posture and the same snotty way of talking as Lee. She seemed alternately amused and annoyed by him – like Lee had in the beginning.

She was Lee with boobs!

But because she had boobs, it was** okay for Jet to fancy her. **

And fancy her he did.

The girl version of Lee had come to interrogate him. But she was so sexy that Jet couldn't even concentrate on her questions. Jet tried to flirt with her – he really did. But she completely ignored his flirty remarks, his debonair voice and his subtle invitations for the sexy times...later, when he had recovered and she wasn't wearing that Kyohsi uniform.

Though Jet kind of loved the Kyoshi Uniform. The fact that she was part of them meant that **at least she wasn't firenation. **He didn't know what a Kyoshi warrior was doing working for the Dai Li – but at least she wasn't a fucking firebender.

**-o-**

She got frustrated with him and turned to leave, but Jet thought quickly and said that he would tell her everything she wanted to know – if she just let him see Longshot and Smellerbee. She stopped abruptly and paused in thought.

Jet pressed the advantage and said that they were all he had left in the world. He couldn't concentrate on anything else until he knew what had happened to them and if they were okay. He said that if she _knew what it felt like _to **not know what happened to someone she loved**, then she would take pity on him.

It worked, surprisingly. The Dai Li weren't known for their pity – yet sexy-girl!version of Lee had taken pity on him. Oh sure, Sexy made a big fuss that she was just letting him visit his friends because it was more _time-efficient, _but Jet had seen her face when he had talked about not knowing the fate of loved ones. She couldn't fool him with her sexy time efficency.

-o-

Jet got up and wandered about the room looking for his clothes. He liked to sleep naked. So what? Sexy blushed and turned around like she'd never seen a naked dude before. Jet didn't think that could be right, but she was acting so bashful that maybe it was. How could it be possible that someone **that sexy** wasn't having fantastic sexy every night. Jet decided to take it upon himself to remedy this situation at the nearest available convenience.

He waggled his eyebrows at her and asked "See anything you like?"

Sexy refused to turn around and denied perving – but Jet had caught her peaking. But, because he was a gentleman, he did not harp on about that. Instead he decided to make his play for her – straight up. He said something really smooth, like "so, sexy girl... how about it?"

Sexy was confused by the question. Jet was confused by her confusion. He tried to clarify what he meant by _how about it_ and said "well, you and me...and hot, kinky sex...or regular sex..whichever you prefer...what do you think?"

Sexy raised an eyebrow and asked "what do you think about me punching you in the face?"

Jet smiled his debonair smile at her and said "you're a feisty one – I like that!"

The Sexy Minx smiled, almost despite herself. But then she quickly schooled her features into a serious face and said, sounding slightly exasperated, "just go **put some pants on** Jet".

-o-

Jet put on some pants and a shirt and walked with Sexy down the hall to where Longshot and Smellerbee were. Jet wanted to know her name. He actually felt a bit weird about calling her sexy. She knew his name – he should be able to call her by hers. It was weird because Jet had never been that overly fussed with learning a girl's name.

He pointed out the disparity in the fact that she knew his name, but he did not know hers. Sexy said that her name was irrelevant – but she must have forgotten that it was sewn into the front of her Kyoshi uniform. right across the left boob Jet examined the writing (and the boob in question) and then said in what he hoped was a seductive voice "It is lovely to meet you Suki".

For some reason this made Suki chuckle to herself.

O0o0o0o0o0

Just a short note:

Azula is wearing Suki's uniform.

Because I like poking Jet with the irony stick too much.


	7. here there be monsters

Ozai sat across from him in the cell and laughed and laughed, like he'd never been more entertained in his whole life, as he was by Iroh in this moment. He finds Iroh hilarious. He finds Zuko hilarious. He finds the idea that Iroh is "like a real father" to Zuko to be the most amusing of all. He sarcastically wished Iroh well in this endeavour. "Good luck with the world's most disobedient, stubborn and stupid child."

Something cruel shifts in Ozai's face then. Even through the laughter, you can see the deep unkindness of spirit etched into the lines on his face. He turned his head, like a komodo rhino smelling a meal, and said with a slow drawl "You know Zuko has a very similar brand of stupidity to dear Lu Ten. Explains why you gravitated to him so much after poor Lu Ten met such an untimely death."

Just the name Lu Ten is sacred to Iroh. It normally conjures up that warm summer afternoon feeling. Warm breeze, cool tea and laughter.

Ozai saying Lu Ten's name feels like a gross intrusion. A violation. The gleeful way he says "untimely death" makes something large, dangerous and long buried in Iroh, shift a little and rear its head. Iroh used to refer to this feeling as _unleashing his inner dragon. _Ozai does not realise the danger he's in, as he continues langiudly, with a false warning. "Stupidity really will get Zuko killed one of these days...and I'm betting on sooner rather than later."

The veiled threat sets the Dragon loose. Iroh is not aware of much aside from the flood of anger and his own body. Iroh is strong. The muscles in his arms are like the cables that hold up the gates of Azulon. Ozai was taller and bigger at one point, but he has wasted away during his time in prison. Ozai's expression is frozen in horrified surprise as he sees Iroh bearing down on him.

Ozai miscalculated. He thought the mention of Lu Ten would draw Iroh back into that crushing depression that ensued after Lu Ten's death blew a hole in Iroh's world. Just the whisper of him used to send Iroh back into that gaping void. But not any more. Iroh finally feels like he has become the man his son would have been truly proud of – and that pride gives him strength.

The dragon inside roars with rage, in sheer indignation that this man would dare to threaten Zuko in his presence. The depths of Iroh's protective fatherly instincts are uncharted. Like on the firenation maps of the far eastern sea, Iroh was sure that there was monsters there. If he could have, he would have warned his brother _abandon all hope, yea who trespass here._

-o-

this one is for boogie-boy, who asked for this little insight ;)

On old-school (16th century old school) British nautical maps they used to write on the un-chartered sections "abandon all hope yea who trespass. Here there be monsters". It just tickles my funny bone to see that written all over where Australia is. _Oi england, why don't you tell us what you really think._


	8. not a life changing field trip

Toph fingered the garments until she came across the one that felt like the dress that Katara had tried on earlier. She took to the dress to Zuko, who was standing at the counter and being impatient. He hated shopping and was acting like he was allergic to the whole shopping process. He had taken Toph with him on this particular mission because she was least likely to waste time "just browsing". Also she had assured him that she knew what dress Katara wanted, despite her blindness. Toph always remembered texture and this dress felt as silk smooth as touching a waterfall. Perhaps that was why Katara had loved it.

Zuko got a bit disgruntled with the sales lady. She was under the impression that the dress was for Toph. The one that they had was way too big. Zuko explained that it wasn't for Toph – but then he started to worry that it was too big... If he got Katara a dress that was too big she would think that he was trying to say (through oblique dress form) that he thought she was fat. Zuko already had **no idea **what to do in the '_does this dress make me look fat?'_ conversation, but he knew that honesty was NOT the way to go.

Oh geez, he didn't actually _try honesty_ did he? It was Zuko. Of course he did.

Well, no wonder Gloomy was always in such a bitch mood with him.

Eventually Zuko gestured for the sales lady that they wanted a dress to fit a girl who was _this tall_ and had a waist _this wide _and a "this area" (he meant boobs) that was apparently _this big. _Well well well, for someone who had claimed vehemently that **he wasn't looking at Katara in that way –** he certainly had been paying enough attention to know her measurements.

Zuko and Katara were having one of their weird fights about nothing (again!) and he wanted to get her a peace offering.

Toph had been fighting a lot with Zuko...but not about nothing. The whole airship ride they had fought about Gloomy hairbuns and about his general ineptitude with decisions. They had never really argued-argued. But they argued on the airship all the time.

Toph was only trying to help him, but he just took it the wrong way. He was so frustrating!

They'd had their biggest argument ever and she'd called him an fucking idiot and he'd called her an annoying brat...and they hadn't spoken for at least two hours. Toph was helping him with this ridiculous dress buying mission as a peace-offering of sorts.

After Zuko had taken the dress and paid the lady, they walked back up the the Palace together. He seemed to notice that she was a bit more sudbued than usual. he poked her in the shoulder and asked her awkwardly what was wrong. At first Toph denied that there was anything wrong – but eventually she fessed up that she hadn't liked how much they had been bickering lately. She said it with as many shrugs as was humanly possible – so she could properly indicated that she wasn't **bothered**.

Zuko halted for a second, and then he also started the shrugging game. He wanted to show that he wasn't bothered either. He offered, in an abashed tone "Well, you know, I bicker with you...but _that's what families do._ How often do I bicker and fight with Uncle about the hedgehog song?"

Toph felt something warm and comforting in her chest when he said that. At first she couldn't put her finger on it. But then, quick as a flash, she knew exactly why. She asked "Did you just call me _your family_?"

Zuko started to make his usual awkward utterances – but he didn't take it back. It had been something that had just been unsaid between them. They were like family. Iroh said it all the time, but Zuko rarely used the word family at all. But the fact that he did now to describe Toph...well it made her glad, deep in her heart.

Toph gave him one of her trademark affectionate punches and told him "Don't say anything more – you'll ruin the moment" with as much affection as her voice could contain.

Zuko seemed to feel as much affection as she did right then. She felt his big hand give her hair a ruffle and he said "you're such a brat" with a great deal of amused fondness. Toph replied that he was an idiot with equal warmth.

"Don't get mushy on me now" Zuko replied cheekily, and she gave him another punch. She could practically feel how big he smiled in response.


	9. Love always is

Something about Piandao always made Zuko feel better about the world. He could never quite put his finger on why. Perhaps it was simply because Piandao was the first person who really made Zuko feel like he was _good_ at something. Whatever it was, Zuko couldn't help but feel a deep sense of trust in Piandao. If he could rely on anyone as regent-administrator, it would be Piandao. They had gone over everything that needed to be done a million times, even though Zuko didn't really need to. Piandao knew what he had to do anyway.

Zuko called for tea and served his old master first. It was a habit he had got into when he was 11 years old. Piandao smiled at toasted him and wished him the best in Ba Sing Se. but he seemed slightly uneasy – which was very unusual for Piandao. He was never uneasy about anything. Zuko asked Piandao if anything was wrong. Piandao just said _there's nothing wrong that can't wait until you get back._

Zuko, with due impatience, poked and prodded anyway. He didn't want to wait until he got back, if there was something that was bothering Piandao. Piandao was reluctant to tell him at first, because Zuko had "too much on his plate" as it was and Piandao did not want to be a burden. Zuko couldn't imagine any world where Piandao, the man who taught him swords and how to carry himself and how to just plain survive, would be a burden to him. He said as much.

Eventually Piandao said that he had been planning on addressing this with Zuko when he got back from negotiations. Piandao was hoping that Zuko would find the time to put marriage reform on the winter agenda. After all this time, and all these years, it would be nice to be able to make it official...with Fat.

Zuko's eyes widened in surprise at the directness of the request, but then narrowed in determination. He held Piandao's gaze and said _Consider it done_ with all the sincerity he could muster. Piandao told him not to be too hasty. Marriage for people of Piandao's _persuasion_ would not be popular with the upper crust after all. Zuko shrugged and tried a joke to lighten to mood (which was a very rare event for Zuko). He said that if he only ever worried about what would be popular with the upper crust, his reign would be one long, pompous, snotty luncheon. The upper crust loved that. Piandao smiled slightly.

Zuko suddenly couldn't help himself. He'd had a question that he'd always wanted to ask Piandao. The real question didn't come out. But another question came tumbling out in its place, at this moment. _Was it a hard thing to do...being of your persuasion...with Fat...in the military?_ Piandao gave him a curious look and Zuko felt like an idiot for asking. Of course it was hard. Being gay and in the firenation army would have never been an easy thing. Piandao titled his head and said you_'re not stupid Kiddo, so don't ask me stupid. Ask me what you really want to know. _With such an open offer, Zuko did. If anyone would tell him the truth about this sort of thing, it would be Piandao.

His Uncle liked to think that he was good at this sort of thing – but he flitted between ladies like he was a hummingbird tasting every flower. Zuko sometimes wandered if Iroh had forgotten what it was like to just adore one woman. He would never even broach this subject with his Uncle, because it was just 87 different types of awkward. But for some reason, he felt like he could ask Piandao. Piandao had always been honest with him before.

_When you realised you loved Fat...but you knew that nobody else would ever understand or accept the two of you together and...and it would be almost impossible for you two to be together... what did you do?_

Piandao smiled gently at him and said _when I realised I loved Fat, nothing mattered except the fact that I loved Fat._ It was a good answer, but it wasn't quite the answer Zuko was looking for. He wanted to know what Piandao had **done about it. **

Piandao shrugged and said _I gathered up all my courage and I thought to myself "to hell with the rest of the world - this person makes me __**happy **__and that matters more than what anyone else thinks" and I told him. _

Zuko couldn't help himself. Piandao spoke like telling someone you loved them for the first time was an easy thing to do. But it wasn't! It was the hardest thing ever. He had to interject _But weren't you scared? He could have said no, and then..._

_It's the most frightening, terrifying thing I've ever done _Piandao confessed with a wink. But then he added more seriously, _but it was worth it...love always is. _


	10. Sex? Drugs? or Loud Music?

0o0o0o0oo0

Sex, Drugs and loud music

0o0o0o0o0o0

For the past three mornings, Zuko had been in a ridiculously cheerful mood.

It was giving Jee the creeps.

First morning, Zuko'd come into the the kitchen, seen Jee there and said "morning" in a really friendly voice. Jee thought he would never use this phrase to describe Zuko's manner of walking - which was typically very stompy and brisk - but there was a definite_ spring in his step._ He was doing a bouncy walk!How strange. What was even stranger was that when Jee asked Zuko what had made him feel so down-right chipper, he'd said "Maybe I'm just in a good mood."

Zuko...in a good mood?

So _this_ was what that looked like.

Weird.

-o-

At first Jee dismissed Zuko's ridiculously happy mood as a one-off fluke. Everyone was allowed to have their _off days_ after all.

The weird mood evaporated during the day. Shit happened. Things went wrong. People acted like dickheads to them for being from the firenation. Zuko got** grumpy** again, but that was okay with Jee. There was a nice familiarity to the grumpiness. This was the Zuko Jee was used to dealing with.

But then the next morning, Zuko had that goofy smile on his face again! His walk was bouncy and he'd made pleasant conversation.

It was down right unnerving!

-o-

It got worse! On the third morning, Zuko was humming. It was beyond friggin weird. It had become a dire situation. It was obvious to Jee that the stress associated with being the firelord had finally gotten to Zuko. He'd _cracked it_ good and proper.

Jee wasn't alone in being absolutely unnerved by this change in behaviour.

"Is he humming in there?" Toph said, with some bemusement, as she came in and sat down at the table. She was always the last one awake in the Jasmine Dragon – and this morning was no exception. At least everyone else stuck to their regular habits.

"Yes, and making us all tea unprompted." Iroh supplied with some confusion.

The humming and the tea making continued in the kitchen. Jee could just make out the tune. It sounded a bit like _four seasons. _For some reason that made it worse. At least if Zuko'd been humming some sort of angry-teenager-with-too-many-feelings song, (like the ObnoxiousGas's epic anthem to teenage angst _if they can't accept me - they all need to go set themselves on fire!_) Jee wouldn't have been so surprised. Humming a sweet, little angst-free ditty like _four seasons _was the weirdest thing he'd ever heard Zuko do.

"Who knew Zuko had a musical side?" Jee in complete bafflement. Zuko had **hated** music night on the ship and Jee had originally assumed it was mostly because he couldn't carry a tune in a bucket and he didn't want to embarrass himself.

"I did. But he normally plays the tsungi horn. He doesn't do _this." _Toph said, stressing the last word and gesturing vaguely towards the kitchen. She didn't quite have the right word for what was going on here.

"No, _this _is ….something new." Iroh said in agreement. He also didn't have the right word. But Jee did.

"_This_ is..." Toph began.

"Creepy" Jee supplied.

Creepy was the right word for what was going on here. There was no other way to describe it. Hearing Zuko hum in the kitchen while doing something nice for all of them unprompted made Jee feel like he'd woken up in a strange parallel universe, where like.._.food would eat people_ or something else similarly bizarre. But nowhere near as bizarre as the humming, which was obviously the first warning sign of oncoming doom.

"This is very very creepy." Toph agreed.

-o-

Jee decided to get to the bottom of this. Jee had been hired because he never shied away from telling Zuko what he really thought. Telling Zuko when he was acting like a dick and needed to get over himself was literally Jee's job description. While Zuko making tea for everyone and humming wasn't_ very dickish_ per see, it did show a dramatic change in mood. Jee knew what caused crazy mood swings like that, and it was Jee's duty to interfere. He cornered Zuko, after breakfast to ask a very salient question.

"Zuko, are you on drugs?" Jee asked bluntly, because he could see no benefit in beating round the bush like this.

"What? No! Why would you even think that?" Zuko spluttered in surprise and indignation. He whirled around to face Jee. Jee subtly tried to check if his pupils were dilated. Zuko backed away and looked at Jee like Jee was the one who'd been acting weird for three days.

"Look I was just asking. If you're having problems, Uncle and I will help you. But turning to drugs isn't the way!" Jee said persuasively.

Zuko gave Jee an unnecessarily condescending look and said "Yes Jee. I have a** terrible terrible opium habit** that I have been keeping secret from you all these years. Now that I'm firelord I've just decided to let it all hang out, turn this tea shop into a house of ill-repute, and take drugs all the time. I'm going to introduce Kuei to catcus juice and bring a little _drug-fueled crazy_ into the mix in the peace negotiations."

Ah, sarcasm was music to Jee's ears! This was more like the Zuko Jee knew.

Still Jee thought that being a crazy firelord wasn't the sort of thing that Zuko should be sarcastic about. All his family brought_ regular old crazy _to the position of firelord naturally. (Drug fueled crazy would be a blessing compared to whatever was wrong with Ozai). There was a lot of regular crazy to be getting on with in the Firenation royal family. The firenation hadn't had a **sane firelord **in...okay Jee wasn't that great at maths, but he knew it had been a really long time. Zuko's little rant was oddly spoken with disdain considering he'd had a relative who only held conversations with pineapples.

"Well, I'm just saying that you've been sneaking out a lot, you're demonstrating really unusual behaviours...I mean, you've been acting...like...** happy.** What was I meant to think?" Jee said defensively.

Surely his assumption wasn't that preposterous. Zuko was a sixteen-year-old boy. By all rights, he should be doing _something naughty_ with either sex, drugs or loud music. That's just what kids did. Jee discounted the loud music because (humming notwithstanding) Zuko had never expressed a great interest in music in general. Sex was right out. Zuko was just in a really awkward stage when it came to the ladies. Jee hoped he would grow out of it the same way he grew out of being a childish dickhead.

Right now, Zuko wasn't so good with the ladies, despite the fact that many ladies seemed to find him quite attractive. They'd drop hints which Zuko would continually fail to pick up. Those hints would just bounce right off him and fall to the floor. Indeed, if these hints were little bits of paper, they would fall around an oblivious Zuko like autumn leaves, and all gather at his feet hopefully and still Zuko would not pick them up. No, he'd probably grumble at someone (most likely Jee) "Someone really needs to clean up all these bloody hints we've got lying around on the floor. This place is a mess."

There was no way it could be sex - so that left drugs. Jee didn't think that this was jumping to conclusions. Even though it seemed like he was erroneous in his assumption, (Zuko's pupils weren't dilated, and he seemed sober enough) it was still a fair assumption to make.

"Wait, you think I have to be on drugs to be happy?" Zuko asked, giving Jee a funny look - as if he just realised the implications of what Jee said previously.

Jee hadn't meant that at all! But, now he'd pretty much said to Zuko's face that the only way he thought Zuko could be happy would be if he took up drugs. That sort of pronouncement could be the very thing that would **drive him to **experimentation with opium. Jee felt the metaphorical ground in this conversation get very slippery.

"I wasn't saying that at all. I was just saying..." What_ was _he just saying? Jee tried to think of something that could justify what he was saying and drew a blank. "Oooh, wait I think I hear your Uncle calling." He finished, deciding that when all was said and done – a distracting change of conversation was really the best option here.

"No he's not." Zuko said.

"Yes he is." Jee urged.

"No he's not. Bloody hell! and you think I'm the one acting weird. Are you sure **you're** not on drugs?" Zuko was clearly baffled.

"I'm not on drugs!" Jee said crossly, annoyed at how this conversation had gotten turned back on him.

"Well I'm not on drugs either!" Zuko said and stomped away, clearly pissed off now.

-o-

Perhaps it wasn't drugs after all.

There must have been a better explanation for the humming in the morning.

It must be music.

* * *

Notes: So Zuko sneaks out and sees Katara during the night and is normally in a much better mood the following morning. A Happy Zuko perplexes Jee greatly. A happy Zuko is_ like a unicorn_ to Jee. He always thought they were imaginary, but now he's seen one in its natural habitat...Jee assumes there is a logical explanantion for this shift in mood... and makes logical conclusions.


	11. feeling big

-0-

Feeling big.

-0-

"Want me to kick her arse? Because I will totally smack her in the face with a stone!" Toph offered in a friendly tone. She meant it in a nice way. She thought it would help – but it only made Song sniffle more.

"You can't kick her arse – she's like 80!" Zuko said with his usual dramatic admonishment.

"So. What does that matter?" Toph replied with a shrug.

"Because it's... _not nice_ to hit old people." was Zuko's reply.

_Not nice?_ Toph didn't care much for nice at the best of times. She certainly didn't care for it now. The Dowager reminded her of her grandmother. She was such a bully. People like that didn't care for nice, so why should Toph.

"Well it's not nice for old people to act like a bag of dicks. (Song did the scandalised pearl clutch when Toph said _bag of dicks_, and Toph was reminded that Song was really much more innocent in some respects, even though she was older. She'd never been to an earthrumble, expressed her feelings through breaking something, or felt so miserable that she tried to run away. So Toph tried to moderate her language a bit.) "She shouldn't be able to talk to people like that just because she's old. Someone should give her what for!"

Song waved her hands between them and started to demurely say "Oh, I don't thinks that's necess..."

"Someone should not be you – your mum will go** absolutely spare **at me if she thinks I'm condoning you beating up 80 year old women..besides this is Song's fight."

Song once again made mutterings about how she really didn't want to fight.

Toph spoke over the top of her and said "I say we kick this old-school style and do the simplest solution. We just take the bag of money and Zuko can hold her down while I** shove it up her..**.."

Toph didn't think anyone should have to take this sort of crap from bullies like her grandmother. She'd been little when her grandmother had constantly visited and made her life a misery. She hadn't known how to fight back. But she was bigger now, and stronger and she knew how to fight.

Zuko made an aghast face at her suggestion and interrupted with a spluttering "Why do you **always think** the simplest solution involves _shoving things_ **up** other_ things?_

"I've been sticking with this suggestion for so long that the law of averages says eventually I'll be right and it will be the perfect solution. " Toph said with a shrug.

Zuko made a very perplexed face and asked "What kind of situation would that even be!"

Toph could think of several examples, but before she say anything Zuko held his hand up in front of her face and said "Don't answer that".

Iroh bustled in with a huge pot of strong tea that was alternatively sweet and spicy. He laid a steaming up in front of Song, while he said "If you like, I can talk to her for you. I'll have you know – I can be **very persuasive." **

Song took a sip and thanked him, but added softly that it wasn't necessary. Iroh sat next to her and gently asked what she meant.

"The Dowager..._she's right_...about me." Song said quietly as she clutched her cup.

All of them made murmurings about how that wasn't true at all.

"No, it is true." Song said in a voice that sounded much stronger and more forced...like she was pushing the words out but they were almost too heavy. "I'm not queen material. I'm a _little_ person – I'm not a grand person like the three of you. "

Zuko quickly said "We're not grand people." He was trying to comfort Song. Toph knew that. But she still felt it was the wrong thing to say. She hated the Dowager had made Song feel small. Her Grandmother had made her feel small too. Toph could tell, from the way Zuko had said they weren't grand, like he really believed it, that he'd had someone make him feel small too. And Toph didn't like it one bit.

"Speak for yourself. **I'm awesome!" **She declared proudly.

"Not helping Toph. "Zuko hissed softly while he elbowed her.

"What?" Toph asked crossly. "I'm_ just saying_. I'm awesome. You're awesome. Uncle's awesome and Song, I don't know you very well, but you seem pretty awesome as well." She continued.

She could feel a little flutter of happiness in Song's heartbeat then.

Iroh said, in his kind and wise voice, "you mustn't let her put you off dear. I think you will make a fine queen. Your country _needs a woman like you._..a woman with kindness, generosity and intelligence."

Song started to sniffle at that. She go moist around the eyes. But it wasn't because she was sad at all. She just had a lot of feelings right at that moment. Toph wasn't good with crying people, even if they were crying because they were happy. But she didn't want to seem like she was running away, so she grabbed Zuko and made mutterings about getting biscuits to go with the tea. It wasn;t running away if two people go. It was gathering supplies.

-0-

After making their brave retreat from the room of emotion. Zuko actually got the biscuits down, because he takes everything so literally. But Toph wasn't complaining. He'd got the good kind with the sugar coating. They sat on the bench for a moment, munching biscuits in silence while listening to Uncle say kind and wise things in the next room.

Toph was thinking about how other people can make you feel small when they really shouldn't. And she was thinking about how you can also make a person feel really big with just a few words and a bit of kindness. And Toph knew how to do both things, very well...making people feel the small and the big. She knew which sort of person she wanted to be now.

Ba Sing Se made her feel a bit crazy. All cooped up with so many rules made her just want to go out and smash things and hit the people who hut her friends. Even though she knew hitting them wouldn't help at all. Zuko knew how she felt. He hated this city. He used to break things when he felt upset too. He couldn't do that now, because he was firelord and had to be a grown up.

Being a grown up meant he spent so much time trying to be the bigger person when it seemed like everyone in this city was trying to make him feel small.

It had really seemed to get to him this morning when he'd just been in the most terrible mood. It wasn't an angry-shouting mood, but a quiet-sad mood and they were so much worse. She hated seeing him feeling all flat and miserable. This was the first moment Toph had alone with him all day, and she knew she should try say something to make him feel better.

She gave Zuko a big punch in the arm, because that was how she showed affection and offered "Just so you know, I meant what I said."

She could practically feel Zuko rolls his eyes and he said "for the last time Toph, I am not going to help you shove a waterbending scroll up..."

"No, not that you dolt!" Toph rebuked, even though it was a fair assumption to make. When all the Northern Watertribe people were making Katara and Sokka miserable, Toph had wanted to take some proactive action. Zuko has spent a good long time one evening talking Toph out of her various plans of proactive action.

"I do think you're awesome. Just so you know." Toph said softly. Toph normally hated any sort of mushy stuff. but it made her feel big and good to say this, because she knew he needed to hear it today. It was just extra hilarious as well because he was so surprised (but in the good way) that he accidentally inhaled some biscuit and started coughing on the crumbs. Toph gave him a huge whack between his choulder blades and corrected her statement "Obviously I'm more awesome, because I don't choke on biscuits, but you are pretty cool as well."


End file.
